Misc poem (The cycle )

 

A decision to cut all contact,

To disable and delete,

A feeling by itself may be an overact,

All to try and avoid the inevitable repeat,

No one dislikes me more than myself,

Trying to reach out but in the end I feel more alone,

Not being truly honest with oneself,

As with no reaction on and on I drone,

Doomed to explore with no one to discuss,

Playing games meant for more by my own,

I just dissapear with no fuss,

Again and again alone,

The cycle repeats and hurts so much,

An inevitable regression,

A longing for a single touch,

A rising want to be a possession,

The hope rising higher and higher,

The distance from the ground so far away,

Trying to be honest so hard not to be a liar,

That feeling of hope always comes back to pay,

For as I go so high to the siren call,

It disappears in an instant,

And we all know the higher you are the harder the fall,

Then it’s regressio,  the cycle is persistent

It’s maddening to repeat again and again,

But I feel broken, not yet complete,

And just oh so much to my chagrin,

It will always feel like hell as once again I repeat