Experimental Writing

  The world is opened as the mind is closed, Seeking stops as a singular reflects, Self doubt and negativity imposed, Thinking of social outcasts and rejects, A single action momentous, Spontaneity comes not due to normalcy, The toll feels enormous, A feeling overrules others by complacency, Gazes uncomfortable, Knows not judging eyes, Thinking venturing isn’t affordable, An imprisonment of self doubting lies, A path must be made, The mind must clear, A wall put in place to prevent the raid, Laying away the doubts and fear, To find the one in the few, To forge the faith, There is only one you, And we all want you to be safe

  The rise and tide of my dismay, Losing this delusion day by day, A failing of perception, Feeding the deception, Falling down once again, Hope is a lie, nothing but pain, Life is unfair, So I continue without care, Silence is my answer, Spreading like cancer, The conversation always mine to initiate, As always none participate, A feeling without validation, Never to feel vindication, I continue on with the smell of strawberries and deceit, At the end, ever predicted, my defeat, A struggle to finish without a bad end, Support and structure is easy to send, My will is supple and spry, Broken simply just by one sigh, Easy to appease, Easier still to tease, Fuck it, why not give it another try, Should be easy enough before I die, Trying to give words to the unknown, Something intangible and not entirely my own, A cycle hopefully broken, If only the words are spoken

  I feel like giving up, Feeling alone and unloved, Strength ebbing like a holed cup, No one wants me, Reciprocation of feeling never comes, Tired and struggling, Feeling like the homeless bums, No one and nothing to call home, My body craves, My Heart dies, Feeling ready to cave, Hermitage calls again, No longer feel like playing the game, Age alone feels like a sin, Try as I might it always ends the same, Bereft of friends and love

  A cooling smoke within the lung, Deny I must the habitual act, My voice, in silence hung, Keeping to given pact, Fire extinguished, Papers left unfilled, Leaf relinquished, A strength willed, A word given, Will be kept, Hard headed forward driven, Old habits will be swept    

 Light peeks through the trees, Warbling birds softly heard, Warmth pouring over like crashing seas, Silence unspoiled by word, Tiny claws gently retracted, Appendage just a toy for running up and down, A gentle smile fully enacted, Blowing away all evidence of frown, Trees whirring in soft wind, Feline friend touches nose to nose, A hand an easy lend, Eyes easily want to close, Morning comes slow to rise, Light in the sky grow, Time for fully awakened Eyes, Time progresses this I know

My stomach churns, My mind burns, My heart aches, For no ones sake, The feeling of being one, My willpower done, A wish to be two, Never to be due, Perception failed, Face paled, A cold sweat falls, Thin veiled walls, A broken attempt, A deepening resent, A feel of inferiority, Having no priority, The soul is weak, No will to seek, Hope feels elusive, Not wanting to be possessive, Maybe being one is best, While always being a pest, Patience is a virtue, But time has past and a break is due, A ponder once again as I think deep, And lay upon my bed to try and sleep  

Alone, No feeling, Rough like stone. Heart is keeling. The mind of one, The body of two, The thought is done, Feeling the fool, An outreached hand, Pushed away, Wish to return to the land, Not wanting to stay, Ignored in the end, Beating heart dies, Nothing to mend, Accused of lies, The mind wants rest, The hand stings, The body protests, The ears ring, I am so tired, No longer want thoughts, No one desired, A danger taught, An end feels far, A show of faith, My respect is marred, No longer feel safe, I am so tired, My mind askew, My soul fired, I wish to be renew

 A feeling of empowerment  A decision to change Feels heaven sent Even if short range To change myself in course  Keeping the demons away Channeling the source  And continue day by day A challenge accepted  A word given Thoughts of turning back rejected  To keep on living  A promise to keep A schedule to be done Urges denied down deep This obstacle shall be won

  Cool hands rest upon my heart The feelings are fleeting Fear of being torn apart An unconventional meeting They clutch and squeeze The pain is dull I let them do as they please The sensation is null The fear of being left Allows them to stay Can easily be turned to theft And just may As a heart stolen Is easily crushed A head swollen Can cuase an easy rush But as it may I stand alone as I should And in this way I’ll stay As my heart turns to wood