Experimental Writing

  A decision to cut all contact, To disable and delete, A feeling by itself may be an overact, All to try and avoid the inevitable repeat, No one dislikes me more than myself, Trying to reach out but in the end I feel more alone, Not being truly honest with oneself, As with no reaction on and on I drone, Doomed to explore with no one to discuss, Playing games meant for more by my own, I just dissapear with no fuss, Again and again alone, The cycle repeats and hurts so much, An inevitable regression, A longing for a single touch, A rising want to be a possession, The hope rising higher and higher, The distance from the ground so far away, Trying to be honest so hard not to be a liar, That feeling of hope always comes back to pay, For as I go so high to the siren call, It disappears in an instant, And we all know the higher you are the harder the fall, Then it’s regressio,   the cycle is persistent It’s maddening to repeat again and again

  I am nothing but a tool, A well meaning fool A life without purpose or meaning   No goal, no drive, and no one for leaning, Try again and again and get nothing but Rejection, All towards seeing a clearer reflection, Though I may be dismissed without a thought, Someone else can be accepted without being sought, The only lesson that can be found, Is I am useless pound per pound, So I am here for no other reason than to just exist, As I drudge along and barely persist, There is no reason to this continuing pain, There is nothing for me to gain, I do not strive for something better, As life has given me this letter , “You have no purpose, and no one will ever accept, You are a failure, a terrible bet, No one cares about you, Trying to clasp to someone, but they will never pursue, The only place for you is in misery and strife, As you are absolutely just a waste of a life, You deserve no goals, no one, and nothing, The only thing for you is

  Life as an obstruction, Only slamming in that wedge, Own life under construction, Keep pushing self towards the edge, Unable to help those who don’t want it, Obsession with possession, Smallest issues cause a fit, All a failing of perception, Falling down and sinking, The views are fully set, Actions without thinking, I’ll miss those I met  

  The world is opened as the mind is closed, Seeking stops as a singular reflects, Self doubt and negativity imposed, Thinking of social outcasts and rejects, A single action momentous, Spontaneity comes not due to normalcy, The toll feels enormous, A feeling overrules others by complacency, Gazes uncomfortable, Knows not judging eyes, Thinking venturing isn’t affordable, An imprisonment of self doubting lies, A path must be made, The mind must clear, A wall put in place to prevent the raid, Laying away the doubts and fear, To find the one in the few, To forge the faith, There is only one you, And we all want you to be safe

 Kirie looked towards Tomoe, until recently he would have never seen her as anything other than a companion animal. Even now he still imagined the kitten that found him years ago. The checkered print on her face that convinced him to call her twoface before even knowing her gender, her mottled color coat.   She definitely had a feminine form in the beastman shape. The clothing only ecentuated that form, in a shirt and skirt. Her back turned to him as she perused the stalls, this was the first time they were in a demi city. She was looking at something resembling sweet crepes , excitedly talking with the fox-man merchant.  As he kept looking at her, she turned her upper body holding one of the crepes out towards kirie.  “Have one master, they’re sweet!” she spoke firmly with a smile on her face, kirie couldn’t believe how cute his kitten became.

  The rise and tide of my dismay, Losing this delusion day by day, A failing of perception, Feeding the deception, Falling down once again, Hope is a lie, nothing but pain, Life is unfair, So I continue without care, Silence is my answer, Spreading like cancer, The conversation always mine to initiate, As always none participate, A feeling without validation, Never to feel vindication, I continue on with the smell of strawberries and deceit, At the end, ever predicted, my defeat, A struggle to finish without a bad end, Support and structure is easy to send, My will is supple and spry, Broken simply just by one sigh, Easy to appease, Easier still to tease, Fuck it, why not give it another try, Should be easy enough before I die, Trying to give words to the unknown, Something intangible and not entirely my own, A cycle hopefully broken, If only the words are spoken